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Unrelated human beings form lasting bonds all the time — as spouses, as friends, and yes, as family.I don't always feel like explaining the nuances of adoption to everyone I meet, but I'm so grateful for the real and complicated life I lead as the mother of three extraordinary children.We cope by acknowledging that those feelings are real and normal. On the contrary, honesty brings us closer together.
It took me a second to process the subtext: I wish I could tell you that I set that clueless dad straight, but after almost a decade as a mom, I've learned to pick my battles.
The truth is, when it comes to adoption, some people just don't get it, no matter what you say.
Just fourteen months later, though, she replies to Wang-Breal’s question with a confident “American,” and a little nod.
Witnessing this scene, however, made me wonder whether Faith really understood and meant what she said—as a young nine-year old, she likely had not explored the meanings of identity and belonging yet.
However, with education, hard work, and desire, adoptive families and children make it through the grand process and become the family that they dreamed of being for so long.
Read the instructor’s introduction Read the writer’s comments and bio Download this essay “Do you feel like you’re more Chinese, or more American?Adoption means my husband and I have a responsibility to honor our kids' origins and help them understand and connect to their roots involving biology, race, and culture.We've made an effort to encourage friendships with other adoptees, and have helped them make friends and mentors of the same race and background.My husband and I are raising three children: our oldest daughter, now 14, adopted from India at age 5, and our son, 13, and youngest daughter, 12, biological siblings who arrived here from Ethiopia at ages 3 and 2.As parents, we make daily sacrifices, just like other moms and dads.A soccer dad and I were commiserating on the sidelines one afternoon about the challenge of getting our kids to practice and games.Club soccer demands a huge investment of time and money from parents, and some days it feels like a grind. "Soccer is hard enough when they're your own kids." Wait, what?We complain about driving them to soccer and struggle to get dinner on the table amid all the weeknight chaos. John and I don't deserve extra credit just because our kids have some different DNA.We chose to be parents, and we're trying our best, just like everybody else.People choose to adopt for many reasons, and the process can take many directions once it begins.As is the case with any family situation, there will be issues that need to be addressed and worked through from the time the child enters the family until the family system dissolves away with time and age.